Thursday, April 17, 2008;
9:08 PM
hello,im happy at a moment and sad at another,but im not happy in the first place.i chose to laugh instead of crying,because i think laughter could help more.but thn,i cried in class today,out of sudden,aft recess time.everyone ard me ask me,why are your eyes so watery.its because i had think of the unhappiness ard me and i cried.i told jon wht happend.and i cry too.i didnt let every of my tears drop out,i tried to control,but some just flow automatically.yes,its indeeed better to tell someone how you felt,and leting it out.but im still trying to find a place,a thing i could do,to make me feel happy.im glad i have those peeps ard me,tht cheers me up everytime.but thn im sad,because i regret knowing some friends.really.fk you.you get wht you wanted alrdy and now you happy?ha,
im not.so,i decided not to contact them anymore and delete their number out of my handphone.you called me whn you need me,you didnt even say anything if you dont need me,not a sms or so.youre such a fucker.LOSER,i hate you to the core.seeee,i know friends help one another,but have you ever help me before,ask yourself.fk you,and get out of my life assss.you made me sad,and you are not the only one,theres still more.i deleted all,and i left some,tht i think i should,and you.i dont wish to see you all anymore,because you all suck.
and yes,i will be better whn i get over all this,in a few moment,im sure i can.because im gng to make myself forget everything and be happy and high,ha.such nonsense.i have seen throught,perhaps or maybe.i dont want to care abt my family neither do i want to care abt anything other things.like i said,i gave up everything alrdy,theres nth much for me.so wht if i get the highest for chinese,im not happy,because its only chinese and i failed others.everything so wrong,very wrong.hate me for all you want thn,loser.
theres many things im sad abt also,its not just tht fortune,or so,only jon knows everything thn))))))):::